I know my family means well and they’re worried about my sort of aimlessness in life and the fact that for a while it seemed like I really had a great plan and that sometime after high school I abandoned and never seemed to really come up with a new one but the methods they choose to attempt to motivate me and convince me to figure it out faster just make me feel so terrible I can’t even deal with it. They have the opposite effect, they kill any sort of momentum I am building, any sort of happiness I’ve figured out and make me feel absolutely meaningless and stupid for thinking I know what I want. I know i’m smart and I know I could be doing better but I just don’t know exactly what I want. It’s not easy for me, I feel like a let down for not having taken the law school route that everyone seemed to think I would but it just wasn’t for me. I dont fully know whats for me outside of wanting to just take pictures and until i figure something out I just wish they’d understand. I’m not fucking up. I’m not going out and ruining my life. I’m just taking longer than I thought I would and i just wish everyone could just understand that. I will figure it out, just I know I will.